Lifes not Fair Jack
by Falling.Through.Wonderland
Summary: Jacks singing and Iantos withholding Sex in hope of time without it. Jacks Complaining and making threats. "But its NOT fair" "Lifes not fair" Very short and not meant to be taken seriously at all. NOT EDITED EXPECT TYPOS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is meant to help me break my horrible, horrible writer's block that has stopped me from writing my Creative writing class task and 'Before becoming a werewolf'.**

**This sort of story has a chance of appearing in 'Before becoming a werewolf'**

**Well anyway this is based before the end of season 2.**

**Well I hope you enjoy its not long and not meant to be taken in any serious matter what so ever.**

**All rights reserved to the BBC and Russel T Davies.**

"… And I-I-I… will always! Love you" Jack sang as he came dancing around the corner in Ianto's flat.

Ianto himself had gone to buy dinner for them both whilst insisting Jack have a shower and relax a bit.

The rift had been spitting out things left and right mostly items that were harmless but still enough to agitate the local weevils all day the team was run off their feet.

Jack had decided to put on the first CD he found (which ended up being a CD titled in Ianto's handwriting 'Ianto's love songs') when Jack heard the first track he laughed at Ianto's taste but eventually started singing along.

He had hopped in the shower quickly getting out not long after the 5th song on the CD which happened to be Whitney Houston's 'I will always love you'.

Jack climbed out of the shower and realised that all the towels were in the wash and the cupboard with the towels was in the laundry so in a traditional Jack way he came out of the shower, wet, naked, singing and dancing.

Ianto blessed the little Indian place on the corner of his street buying himself the Chicken Masala and Jack his favourite dish, butter chicken.

All in all because of the time of the night and the location of the small takeaway place Ianto went in and out within 5 minutes.

When he walked into his flat he heard traces of Whitney Houston but when he placed the food on the coffee table and looked up he did not expect to see what he saw.

Jack stark naked, singing at the top of his lungs whilst spiralling into the laundry and then out again; Ianto stifled his laughter and leant against the doorway.

Jack begun drying himself in a very flamboyant fashion not noticing Ianto in the door way; when the song ended jack bowed but when he looked up he saw a very amused Ianto in the doorway.

Jack immediately pressed stop on the CD player Ianto looked at Jack again "do you and Whitney need to get a room?" Ianto said with a straight face.

Jack sauntered over and whispered in Ianto's ear "don't worry there's enough of me to go around" Jack began to kiss along Ianto's jaw line and Ianto smiled.

"Jack the whole universe wants you in their bed" Ianto said calmly showing no reaction to Jacks advances.

"well you have me in yours tonight"

"Well I want my Part of you to go and get some clothes on so we can eat dinner" Ianto smiled calmly.

"But I'm naked"

"and that's why your getting dressed"

"will you undress me later?" Jack asked seductively nipping at Ianto's ear.

"No my plan for the night is for you to get dressed then we will eat our dinner then we will be sitting up in my bed-"

"Naked?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Nope we will have bottoms on, we will watch a good movie and then we will talk"

"pillow talk?"

"Yes pillow talk"

"without sex"

"Yes Jack WITHOUT sex"

"But that's not fair" Jack whined.

"Life's not fair"

"I will call Owen"

"and say what? Owen Ianto wont have sex with me, that's going to go down real well"

"It can't be healthy, you depriving me of such things and Owen is my doctor"

"Can't we just enjoy each others company without a sexual release?"

"Yeah but the other parts fun" Jack tried persuading Ianto by unbuttoning Ianto's jacket.

"go to my bedroom now Jack Harkness" Ianto demanded slyly.

Jack walked off in the direction of the bedroom he hoped to be seeing a lot of, Jack believed he had convinced Ianto into doing what he wanted that was until Ianto yelled out again "and while your there get dressed"

"But its NOT fair!"

**PS This could have a sequel if you guys want there to be one. Let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lifes not fair Jack Part 2**

**A/N I AM SOOO SORRY, the wait was Sooo long, please forgive me? I'm not very confident about this chapter since the previous one got a good response and this isn't quite as funny :/**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.**

"Owen!" Jack called through the Hub late one night.

"You bellowed Jack?" Owen said standing at the top of the med labs stairs.

"I need your help, it's really important"

"Yeah Jack, Anything, What do you need?"

"Open your hand"

"Jack if this is going to injure me in any way, I'm out"

Jack looked scandalised "You said anything"

"Okay fine" Owen said his palm open.

Jack dropped two pills into his palm, Owen inspected them closely.

"Jack, dear god what on earth do you want me to do with these?"

Jack leant in and whispered seriously in Owens ear.

"Why?"

"It's been three weeks Owen; I don't think I can handle it anymore."

"Okay I will do it today, but only because I understand, this also pays my debt to you for keeping that secret, you know the one involving that particular alien"

"Oh yes Owen I know, we shall never speak of that night of… fun" Jack said with a malicious grin.

"You know very well it was not 'fun'" Owen said in a harsh whisper.

Jack smiled wildly "For you maybe" with a wink he was gone, leaving the two white pills heavy in Owens hand.

The next day Owen slipped the two pills into Ianto's coffee.

Five minutes later Ianto came barging into Jacks office.

"Jack what on earth did you get Owen to lace my coffee with? I'm not stupid I can taste the difference from one sip so do lie to me, don't you dare lie to me Jack Harkness"

Jack bit his lip.

"Spit it out Jack!"

Jack mumbled something incoherently.

"Pardon?" Ianto asked, staring down at Jack like he was a scolded puppy.

Jack whispered something.

"I can't hear you Jack"

"Viagra, I got Owen to put Viagra in your coffee"

Jack waited for the scolding that never came, instead all he could hear was… Laughter?

Jack looked up and sure enough Ianto was holding his sides laughing.

"Only you…. Would… ask our… Medic… to put… Viagra… In my Coffee" Ianto spluttered out in between giggles.

"Three Weeks Ianto, Three Weeks"

Ianto sobered up long enough to say "All I wanted was for you to take me out to dinner and a movie, maybe even try to seduce me but no you try to… drug me" Ianto had started laughing again.

"I can do that, do you want me to do that?"

"Jack you just tried to drug me with Viagra, just to get me into bed, I think you can do what ever you want."

Jack stood up and walked over to Ianto leaning in close and nipping his ear "Can I do you?"

"With Pick up lines like that, you should try harder"

"I can do that, you know, try _harder_"

"Dear lord, they are getting worse" Ianto said as he moved from Jack.

"See you on the plass at seven"

"Fine, we can see if you can _woo _me"

That night Jack took Ianto out for Italian and listened to Ianto talk about Roman culture, fed Ianto chocolate mouse and generally had a good time.

8:30 rolled on and found the two in line to go see the latest Sci Fi film.

Once in Jack led the way to the back row, they found a seat and half way through the film Jack subtly placed his hand on Ianto's thigh massaging it slightly.

Jack leant in and kissed Ianto's neck sweetly, Ianto looked down at him, they made eye contact and Jack thought _what the hey? _

They shared a small kiss, gentle and loving, Jack tried to make it more heated and Ianto pulled away.

"I am not some over obsessed with sex teenager Jack Harkness I am not making-"

Jack silenced him with a kiss, the unspoken words falling into Jacks mouth.

Ianto pulled back again "No Jack not here"

"Then lets leave and go somewhere else"

"No I want to finish my normal date"

"But-"

"But nothing Jack, we are not leaving the cinema so we can have sex and by golly we are not having shenanigans in the dark"

"But that's not fair"

"Life's not fair Jack"

**A/N**

**I am sorry this took so long and I am so sorry its kinda lame, but what the hell It was fun to write. Please if you enjoyed it let me know if not well tell me anyway **

**This will be the only sequel, UNLESS, you have an idea where to go with this story. If so let me know **

**Au Revoir **

**- Falling. Through. Wonderland (formally jack4ianto09 any change in pen name does not mean a change in love for the characters)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Life's not Fair Jack part 3**

**A/N: This chapter is for all you cool cats that like reading a little bit of fluff, and believe me its really fluffy. (Tempted to quote Despicable me)**

**Any who thank you all for your reviews and thank you Don't-Eat-My-Pie for your PM it gave me a few ideas.**

**SO any way please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or any movies, musicals, songs, events, products, clothing, labels, schools, names or anything else you can think of I own nothing except my imagination.**

"Owen, we need to talk" Jack said, cornering the mentioned man in the Med lab.

"Nope we don't, I paid my penance" Owen said, pushing Jack away and proceeding to examine the body on the slab.

"But it didn't work" Jack moaned, his bottom lip pushed out into a pout.

Owen laughed, "Look at our great leader, defeated by sex withdrawal"

"Don't start; I'm sure you know how it feels"

"I am not talking to you about my sex life Harkness"

"I need your help, I can't last much longer" Jack was nearly in tears, whining indignantly.

"God, Harkness, have you never heard of a wank"

"Well of course I have, but Ianto and I have rules"

"What?- actually I don't want to know"

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"Ask the women I'm sure they know what's gotten up Tea boy's arse, or in your case what hasn't" Owen smiled evilly at Jack, whom through him a warning finger and a cross look.

********************************TW*************************************

Jack perched on Tosh's desk.

"Hello Toshiko"

"No" she said, her eyes glued to the computer screen.

"What?" Jack said completely befuddled.

"I know what you're going to ask me and I am on Ianto's side with this one"

"Toooosssshhhhh" Jack whined.

"No Jack" She said her eyes not moving.

"Please Tosh, I need help"

"Why don't you be like everyone else and just use Google"

Jack smiled, she was right.

"Jack!" Gwen came calling through the Hub.

"Gwen I can't talk right now, lord Google demands my attention" Jack said walking past her and into his office, Gwen looked confused, she turned to Tosh.

Tosh shrugged and Gwen smiled "Ianto still not giving it up to him" It was more of a statement then a question.

"Where is Ianto anyway?" Gwen asked.

"Oh, Owen showed him how to get into the back of the archives this morning, he has been in there ever since"

********************************TW*************************************

Jack sat in his office staring at the open webpage, he had gotten this far now what to type in, Jack thought to himself for a moment.

His fingers moved quickly over the keyboard as he got an Idea. _'Seducing Mr Perfect'_

A bunch of web pages came up including a bunch of pictures, _**No I'm not looking for a Korean movie. **_ Jack groaned.

Moving the mouse he highlighted and deleted his idea, _**Ah I got it!**_ '_Ways to seduce a man' _Jack smiled he found the perfect page. '_9 Ways to seduce a man in bed'_

The Website was very informative, a massage here a wet look there but the most helpful was the final tip '_Sexy/Sweet talk_'

********************************TW*************************************

Ianto looked down at his phone and laughed, could Jack get any more cheesy, the message read: '_Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day-Jack x_'

Ianto had always hated texting and much preferred to just call, so that's what he did, how he had reception down this low was amazing.

"Hello Honey" Jack said when he answered the phone, his voice low.

"Hello Jack"

"Did you get my text message?" Jack said.

"Yeah I did, it was sweet actually"

"Not as sweet as you"

"Is this your latest ploy, sweet talking me?"

"Why, do you like it?"

"It's nice"

"They will only get sweeter"

"Have you been on Google?"

"What? No"

"You're a bad liar Jack"

"I can be bad if you want me to"

"Have fun doing all your paper work"

"Just think Ianto, if you were my paperwork I'd be doing you on my desk right now"

"Goodbye Jack"

Ianto pressed the end button on his phone and breathed out a deep sigh, _Jack Harkness is going to be the death of me _Ianto thought to himself.

Five minutes later another text came through '_oh baby... if you knew how much i want you right now, we'd be laying in my bed... doing that thing that drives you crazy.. Kissing your neck while I softly scratch your back...do you miss that? Because I do- Jack'_

God! Ianto wasn't going to go on for much longer, he wanted to give in to Jack, he really did but he needed to know that Jack wasn't with him for the sex. He wanted, no, needed to feel like he was worth more.

His phone beeped again '_Hey I'm heading out to the store, would you like anything?-Jack x_'

Ianto smiled, Jack had never been one to be thoughtful but that was so nice in comparison to the previous text…_he's up to something._

Ianto texted back '_Hmmm… Bring me back something that smells nice_'

********************************TW*************************************

Jack looked at his phone and smiled. _Ianto seems to like the sweet approach._

Jack got up and walked out of his office. "Head home you lot!" He said to the remaining three.

"Why Jack?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah Jack its only 3PM" Tosh agreed.

Owen had already grabbed his coat and was on his way out "Don't question the man, girls, lets go to the pub, first pint on me"

"And Jack-" Tosh started, when Jack looked at her she continued "-Ianto, he's like everyone, he just wants to be loved and just a clue, he's a romantic at heart"

Within five minutes the three had left.

Jack smiled and sent Ianto a message asking if he wanted anything from the store, Ianto responded and Jack knew exactly what to do.

Jack grabbed his coat and headed to the store, or more accurately he went to 15 stores.

********************************TW*************************************

Ianto was sorting through the last of the files three hours later, when his phone beeped.

It was another message from Jack '_I'm in a jigsaw puzzle at the moment, you're the missing piece, want to join me?_' Ianto smiled, he _was_ done for the day.

Ianto placed the last piece of paper work in the book shelf and opened the door to leave, He was washed over with the smell of… _roses_?

He looked down and sure enough there was a pool of rose petals leading the way out, candles line the bottom of the walls like lights on a runway.

Ianto smiled _Jack really was incorrigible… but sweet._

Ianto followed the rose petals all the way up to the main part of the hub; He could hear the music playing and smiled.

He followed the trail of rose petals with his eyes and it led straight to Jack, Ianto smiled, he had to admit to himself _Jack could be romantic_.

"Want to dance?" Jack said his arms out.

Ianto followed all the way up to Jack and into his waiting arms, Ianto laid his head on Jack's shoulder and breathed in deeply.

"I've missed this, you know, being close enough to smell you" Ianto said.

Jack started swaying to the music he moved his lips close to Ianto's ear and started singing.

"_You do something to me. Something that simply mystifies me, why should it be, You have the pow'r to hypnotize me. Let me live 'neath your spell. Do that vodoo that you do so well. For you do something to me_"

Ianto smiled "I never knew you could sing"

Jack twirled Ianto around "There is so much you don't know about me"

"Wait you mean there is more to you then a sex crazed mystery man that can't die" Ianto said sarcastically with a smile.

"You forgot to mention that I'm handsome" Jack said with a slight chuckle.

"Okay so I will hand it to you, you are pretty handsome"

"Don't you know it" Jack smiled wide.

"Why did you do this?"

"Because I wanted to do something special for you" Jack said his mouth formed into a half smile as Ianto and him swayed to Cole Porter.

"Jack, I'm not having sex with you tonight"

"I figured as much, but let me ask why not, I understand that you wanted to talk, enjoy each others company and go on dates but if your anything like me abstinence is killing you so why not tonight?"

Ianto leaned in close and nipped Jacks ear, the man him self had to hold in a moan.

"Because I'm the one that's going to have to clean this up tonight"

Jacks smile turned into a frown.

"That's not fair"

"I know, but you know what-"

Jack smiled and finished his sentence "Life's not fair"

TBC

**A/N: I know, I know this one is not even funny but I haven't written fluff in so long and I was in a fluffy mood. I have one more chapter kind of planned out in my head but please ideas people I want them.**

**Please Review; they're the only reason that this story has more then one chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

'**Life's not fair Jack' Chapter 4**

**A/N: Okay so I totally forgot that this fic even existed :/ I feel bad, the main reason that this story has been so neglected is because I've been too focused on my other stories (Glee- check them out if you want to) So please please please forgive me for doing that.**

**I actually felt so bad that I sat down and wrote this lame ass chapter :P I so hope you like it =)**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Torchwood or any movies, musicals, songs, events, products, clothing, labels, schools, names or anything else you can think of I own nothing except my imagination.**

Ianto put the key inside his apartment door, it had been a long day and he really wanted to soak in the tub to calm himself down, the door fell open with out him turning the key. Instinctively he reached for his gun, all the lights were off and his heart raced as adrenalin filled his veins with it's brutal power.

He turned on the light and rose his gun at the only other person in the room.

"Jack?" he lowered his gun "-Damnit I could have shot you, you know that?" Ianto lowered his voice and then his eyes.

"You're naked" Ianto shook his head trying desperately not to look down, it had been a further three weeks since Jacks last attempt to get him in bed, the entire time Jack was perfectly amiable and romantic. Ianto found his favorite chocolates by the coffee machine on several occasions, the roses were never ending and most recently the sweetest thing Jack had done was put post-it notes on every page of the finished paperwork, mostly they told Ianto how much he was thinking of him. The sentimental hopeless romantic in Ianto made sure he kept every post-it and pressed every rose.

He tried keeping eye contact with Jack, he could see the smile reached Jack's eyes. "You seem pretty pleased" Ianto commented, he had put a hand on his hip and was gesturing wildly with his hand in a way Jack knew was his embarrassed actions.

"Don't forget cocky and self assured" Jack winked with a smile, he could see that he was having a good effect on Ianto, that extra ten minutes it took to choose how to stand was worth it, he stood there naked as the day he was born, saluting Ianto.

"You really think that this is going to work?" Ianto said trying to hold back a smile.

"It worked for Ted and Lily on 'how I met your mother'" Jack said relaxing his pose.

"You're trying to seduce me with tricks you found on an American television series?" Ianto said in disbelief.

"Apparently it works two out of three times" Jack smiled. Ianto looked at him properly, _don't be a statistic, don't be statistic, don't be a- dammit_ Ianto felt his resolve disappear, he closed his eyes for a second.

Ianto opened his eyes and closed his apartment door before turning to look at Jack with what he hoped to be a sexy smile. Jack knew that he'd give in eventually, Ianto stood there in invitation, Jack walked over slyly and wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist, he kissed Ianto's neck, biting and nipping every now and then.

Ianto moaned lightly and Jack began undoing Ianto's jacket very slowly, making sure to pay close attention and care to every action, he slid the jacket off Ianto's shoulders and hung it on the nearby coat rack.

Jack turned Ianto around and pulled him in, by his tie, for a much needed kiss, it was short and sweet and followed by Jack removing the tie and placing it on the edge of Ianto's sofa.

After the tie came off it didn't take to long until Ianto was left with no shirt at all as he leant on the sofa, Jack worshipped every inch of skin he could reach eliciting delicious moans out of Ianto, he was sure Ianto wouldn't back out this time.

Jack sucked and nipped at Ianto's chest as he made his way up to Ianto's nipples, he bit them lightly and Ianto arched into the touch with a rather loud moan.

Jack smiled at the noise "Hmm… I knew you missed this"

"Jack" Ianto said and Jack looked up at him "Shut up"

"Kindly" Jack smiled before returning to his ministrations, pleasing Ianto in way's that he hadn't in a very, _very_ long time.

Jack kissed his way back down Ianto's chest, he kissed along Ianto's pants line and Ianto was nearly shaking from temptation, Jack smiled before he dragged his tongue from Ianto's navel right up to the tip of Ianto's chin.

Ianto smiled slightly and kissed Jack full on the lips, it had been a while since they'd kissed like that, all teeth and pure passion.

Jack bit lightly on Ianto's bottom lip and Ianto rutted up into Jack, the action making both men moan, Jack kissed back down Ianto's chin and gave Ianto a deep purple hickey where even his collar couldn't hide it.

**********************************TW**********************************

Owen walked passed Ianto the next morning and laughed as he saw the hickey,

"So the captain finally got his way" he commented and Ianto rose an eyebrow at him and looked up at Jack, Owen followed his gaze to Jack's position above them.

"Wait so the naked man really works?" Owen asked with an amused tone to his voice.

"Two out of three times" Ianto said and Owen looked at Ianto "-Jack was statistic number 3"

Owen laughed at Jack who scowled at him, "Apparently love bites are not appreciated the way they used to be"

"On a prima Donna like tea boy, of course they aren't appreciated you twat!"

"I'm going to be sexually frustrated for eternity" Jack commented sadly.

"At this rate, oh yeah!" Owen said before returning to the med lab.

"But it's not fair"

Ianto looked at him his eyebrow still risen and Jack mock glared at him "-I know, I know, don't even say it... 'Life's not fair Jack'" Jack finished with a mock at Ianto's welsh accent. Ianto just smiled before going over to the coffee machine to make Jack an extra special cup of coffee.

**A/N: So I think maybe just one more chapter for this and we will be finished =) If you have any ideas, feel free to send them my way cause honestly I have no idea what to write :P**

**So this chapter was short but I actually really like it =)**

**SPOILER ALERT (MIRACLE DAY):**

**Okay so during the sex scene in episode seven, the only reaction I really had was 'hehehe, Jack licked his arm' Yup I'm mature :P**

**SPOILER DONE**

**So please review, I would love to hear what you have to say and also if you're a gleek, check out my KurtxBlaine stories, 'Didn't think I would see you again' is pretty popular at the moment **

**Til next time**

**Shae xo**


End file.
